Daniel Curzon
Daniel Curzon may be reached at: curzon@pacbell.net or 415-297-9220
Website: danielcurzon.com
Many of the Curzon’s plays are contained in the “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,”
a set of eight volumes published by IGNA Books, 2004-07. They are available via amazon.com
Click here for a list of all Daniel Curzon books carried by Amazon.
For a full list of Daniel’s plays, visit his website.
- One Damned Thing after Another, or Oops, That Must Have Hurt
A gay man and the two women who love him exchange e-mails as their lives’ vicissitudes ebb and flow. A realistic drama with some comedy. All three actors read the e-mails, memorizing not required.
Two-Act: 2 hours – no set
1M: 45-60 American accent.
2F: 45-60 British and Brooklyn accents.
- Despicable Daughter – or – Shed No Tears for April
A sociopath daughter and a gay man fight for the love, and estate, of a woman dying of cancer. A realistic drama with comedy elements – characters move in slow motion between scenes.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. VIII
Two-Act: 2 hours, plus intermission – modern day, minimal sets; few props, pools of light
2M: 30-40s
2F: 20-30s, 45-50s
- Bless Me Father. I Have Sinned
Sebastian, a Southern young gentleman out of a Tennessee Williams play, goes to confession and gives the Catholic priest an earful, in 1957. Meanwhile, Marilyn Monroe shows up in the adjoining confessional. A biting comedy.
Semi-finalist, Reverie Theater, Next Generation Contest, 2006
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. VIII
One-Act: 1 hour, 30 min.
2M: 30-40, 50
2F: early 30s blonde, 50+ (walk-on)
- My Unknown Son
A man who has donated his sperm to a lesbian couple – at the same time he is writing a history of the theater – encounters various versions of his son, from Greek tragedy to Shakespearean comedy, Oscar Wilde farce, and Sam Shepard. A comedy, with powerful and touching scenes. Video available.
Premiere at Marin Theater, Marin County, California, summer 1987. Performed at Circle Rep Lab, NYC, October 1987, and off-Broadway Equity production at Kaufman Theater, NYC, October 1988.
Published by Dialogus – out of print.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. III
One-Act: 1 hour, 18 min.
2M: 20s, 40s
1F: any age
- When Bertha Was a Pretty Name
Several couples and family members are down for the weekend. The hosts, two male lovers, are worried about Ma Mere, who does not approve of their love. Suzette is not happy with her wooden-legged stuffy lover. A Noel Coward and Somerset Maugham sort of drawing-room high comedy, with style and some farce; set in the present, with modern issues.
Workshopped at West Coast Playwrights, Marin County, CA, 1988.
Published by Dialogus – out of print.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. IV
Two-Act: 2 hours
5M: 20-40s
3F: 20-50s
- Cinderella II
What happens after you live happily ever after? Cinderella finds Prince Charming too "perfect." She’s is falling in love with his less-than-charming brother, Prince Moe, and she’s even homesick for her awful stepsisters. Meanwhile, the evil court jester is plotting to overthrow the prince. Cinderella winds up in Charming male clothes and Charming in Cinderella’s dress. A musical comedy; music by Dan Turner, book and lyrics by Curzon. Tape of music available.
Winner of three Bay Area Theater Critics Circle Awards.
First produced by the Angels of Light, S.F., 1984.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. III
Two-Act: 2 hours, 5 min.
8M: various ages
8F: various ages, some in drag
- Pixies in Peril
A wimp sets off against his will on a quest for the dragon’s gold through the intervention of some pixies and a meddling magician. There are funny S&M spiders, hillbilly gremlins, a campy Ice Queen, who changes clothes every 15 minutes. A broad comedy, fairy tale parody.
Published by Dialogus – out of print.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. III
Two-Act: 2 hours
7M: various ages, with doubling
7F: various ages, with doubling
- Don’t Rub Me the Wrong Way
Four bisexuals answer an ad by mistake when a man advertises his furniture as "a good bi." Also, a dangerous genie is released from a magic lantern, and he is not happy with the human race he is forced to serve, and determines to do something about it. A comedy with satirical bite.
Staged readings at Gay Performance Company, New York, 1991, and Phoenix Theater, San Francisco, 1996.
Published by Dialogus – out of print.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. V
Two-Act: 2 hours
4M: various ages
2F: various ages
- I’m Glad I’m Me and Not You, or Avatars
Four people appear in various versions of themselves from 1893 to 1953, 1973, 1993, and 2093, revealing the way sexual taboos change and re-assert themselves in expansive and repressive times. A serious comedy.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. IV
Two-Act: 2 hours
2M: various ages
2F: various ages
- Beer and Rhubarb Pie
A sexy, homophobic, macho Cuban repairman with marital trouble encounters a gentlemanly gay man, who also has sexual problems with his ex-lover. A drama with some humor. Video of one-act version is available.
A one-act version was produced at Theater Rhinoceros, San Francisco, 1979 and 1980. The 3-Act version had a staged reading at Gay Performances, NYC, May 1990.
One-act version Published by Dialogus – out of print.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. I
Three-Act: 1 hour, 45 min.
3M: 20-30s
1F: 30s
- The Birthday Boy
A middle class, male drug addict hates life. His long-suffering partner discovers that he is addicted to his lover’s addiction. A drama.
Premiered as a one-act at One Act Theater, San Francisco. 1982.
Published by Dialogus – out of print.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. I
Two-Act: 2 hours
4M: 20-40s
2F: 1 teen, other in 50s
- Please, Not to Us
The lesbian version of The Birthday Boy.
Two-Act: 2 hours
2M: various ages
3F: 1 teen, 1 20s, 1 50s
- Beneath the Surface
Representative members of various prevailing minorities, from the handicapped to Native American, are trapped in a subway train that is losing its air; their real feelings for each other come out. A Biting, politically incorrect, unsentimental view of self-interest and bigotry.
Performed in a shorter version at Earnest Players, San Francisco, 1979.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. I
One-Act: 1 hour, 15 min.
7M: various age
5F: various age
- Sex Show: Comedy Madness
15 satirical skits on various aspects of sex, from the ways men are allowed to touch, to a man having a dialogue with his penis about masturbation. A comedy.
Premiere at Gay Community Center, San Francisco, 1977. Performed at the Leavenworth YMCA, San Francisco, 1977, and at Mabuhay Gardens, San Francisco, 1977.
Nominated “Best Script” by San Francisco Bay Area Theater Critics Circle, 1977.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. I
Two-Act: 2 hours
5M: various ages
- Demons
A gay man is visited by the spirits of three women in his life: a grade school nun, his mother, and his ex-wife. A drama with laughs.
Staged reading at Julian Theater, San Francisco, 1983.
Published by Dialogus – out of print.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. II
Two-Act: 2 hours
1M: 20-30s
3F: 30-50s
- Comeback
A male cabaret singer is making a comeback as a female after a sex change. Personal and career challenges follow. A musical drama, with music by Dan Turner, and Lyrics by Curzon. Tape of music available.
Staged Reading at Noe Valley Ministry, San Francisco, 1987.
Published by Dialogus – out of print.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. I
Two-Act: 2 hours
2M: 30-40s
- Hugely Entertaining
A group of “seminarians” takes a theater course in London. Conflicts ensue because a purse has been stolen; a transsexual hopes to be a clairvoyant; an old Shakespearean actor is going blind; and a countess has bed-wetting concerns. A realistic comedy-drama.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. V
Three-Act: 3 hours
6M: various ages, 1 cross-dresser
4F: various ages
- Heaven: The Musical
A hot new dance club just opened, and rumors persist that all types of sex take place in secret “closets” throughout the building. People clamor to get in, and they’ll pay whatever is asked. However, the doorman is very fussy. An engaged young couple, out on the town, decide to have a bachelor party, together. They stop to see the commotion outside the club. They shouldn’t have. A musical Drama. Currently does not have music written.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. VII
Two-Act: 3 hours
5M: 20s, 40s, 20-60s, part doubling
5F: 20s, 40s, 20-60s, part doubling
- Reality Check
Two male roommates watch a TV reality program, during which household tensions and larger frictions emerge, especially concerning the incessant obsession with a put-down of homosexuality in the straight world. A realistic dramedy.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. VIII
One-Act: 10 min.
2M: 20s
- Liars
A lie-detector has finally been invented that gives absolutely reliable results. Oh, no! Where can we hide? An absurdest dramedy about a man who may have killed his male lover.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. VIII
One-Act: 10 min.
2M: any age
- A Streetcar Named Viagra
It’s 1946 and a playwright named Tennessee encounters a drag queen named Desiree in auditions for the out-of-town workshop of his Broadway-bound play. She inspires him to make certain alterations in the role of the original Lance DuBois. A comedy satire/revisionist history.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. VIII
One-Act: 30 min.
3M: 30s, any age for the other two, one a drag role
- Batman and Robin: Cute Meat
Batman and Robin meet on an airplane and develop a rapport. A comedy. Also available as “Batperson and Robbie.” Video available.
Staged reading at the Actors Theatre of Santa Cruz, April 2002, and at First Stage, Los Angeles, June 2002.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. VII
One-Act: 15 min. – set: two chairs
2M: early 20s, 30s
- Peni
Two guys (played by women with three-foot-long penises) have big needs. What if women had penises? A comedy.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. VII
One-Act: 25 min. – props: two three-foot-long strap-on styrofoam penises.
2F: any age
- So Middle Class
A middle-class man, who merely wants to read a book on a park bench, winds up having a tension-filled afternoon with a “homeless” person. A lot gets said, and done, that has been bottled up for too long, as insinuations about one man’s sexaulity surface. A serious drama; an answer to “Zoo Story.”
First Prize, in Attic Theatre One-Act Contest.
Performed at The Marsh, San Francisco, 1994, the Attic Theatre, Los Angeles, June-July, 1998, and by the California Travel Troupe, San Francisco, February 2001.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. V
One-Act: 35 min.
2M: 35-70; any age
- The Hit
Four producer/playwrights (one a gay man) have their bill of short plays picked up by an outside producer, at which time the power plays (to say nothing of the slashing and burning) begin. Satirical comedy.
Winner of the Attic Theatre Play Contest, 1997.
Produced by the Attic Theatre, Los Angeles, February 1997, and by the California Travel Troupe, San Francisco, summer 2004.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. VI
One-Act: 20 min.
2M: various ages
2F: various ages
- The Murder of Gonzago – a Comedy
A group of eccentric playwrights (inluding — gasp! — a gay man) meet for their regular play reading session. One of them has connived to win their support, however, she goes berserk when critiqued and reveals “horrible” secrets about the others. Backstage dirt and a play-within-a-play-within-a-
play! A comedy. One-act version, also available in longer version. Produced by Theatre Rhinoceros, 1986, and by Above Board Theatre, San Francisco, May, 1993.
Published by Dialogus – out of print.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. III
One-Act: 45 min.
3M: various ages
2F: 20-30s
- Your Town
A journey through life with a typical couple; from courtship to marriage; from kids to caring for aging parents; to old age. A biting satire on traditional “family values,” revealing that, by contrast, the gay “lifestyle” isn’t so bad.
Produced by Earnest Players, San Fran, 1978.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. I
One-Act: 18 min.
3M: various ages
2F: various ages
- Last Call
In a gay bar, a handsome man and an un-handsome man cruise each other but barely speak. What they are thinking becomes clear in its ironies and disappointments. An amusing and touching tale.
First produced by the One-Act Theater Company, San Francisco, 1980. Radio adaptation via an NEA grant, 1982; broadcast KQED and KPFA radio.
Published by Dialogus in “Homosexual Acts” – out of print.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. I
One-Act: 20 min.
3M: 2 in 20s; 40-50s
- One Man’s Opinion
A killer of homosexuals explains himself in hate-filled terms. Based on Curzon’s short story in “The Revolt of the Perverts” (1978). A drama.
Performed in “Homosexual Acts,” Theater Off Square, NYC, 1991.
Published by Dialogus in “Homosexual Acts” – out of print.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. I
One-Act: 12 min.
1-3M: 20-30s
- S & M
A male sadist does a heavy “scene” with a male masochist, who turns out to be Jesus. Savage satire.
Performed in “Homosexual Acts,” Theater Off Square, NYC, 1991
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. IV
One-Act: 5 min.
2M: any age
- Immortality
A gay man meets with his lesbian friend to discuss the baby they are planning, only to learn she has changed her mind about him as a donor because of AIDS. Drama.
Produced in bill of one-acts by Theater Rhinoceros, 1986.
Published by Dialogus in “Homosexual Acts” – out of print.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. IV
One-Act: 11 min.
1M: 20-30s
1F: 20-30s
- Rev. What’s His Name
A Christian minister, full of Christian love, teaches a Bible study class of children about AIDS as a punishment from God. Satirical comedy.
Winner of special award from Bay Area Theater Critics Circle, 1984.
First performed as part of “The AIDS Show,” Theater Rhinoceros, San Francisco, 1984.
Also part of a national tour of the United States. Performed in acting class of American Conservatory Theater, San Francisco, 1986.
Published in West Coast Plays as part of “The AIDS Show,” 1985.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. III
One-Act: 5 min.
1-6M: 30-60s
- The Tasteful Transvestite and the Three Bullies
Claudette Camembert is a straight man who simply wants to wear tasteful frocks, but three bullies don’t want him to do this. So what is one to do but teach such bullies a lesson, no? A comedy.
First produced by the Absolute Theatre Company, San Francisco, February 1994. Also produced by the New Conservatory Theatre, San Francisco, Spring 1994.
Published by Dialogus in “Homosexual Acts” – out of print.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. V
One-Act: 10 min.
3M: 20-40s
- A Christmas Miracle at the Open Mess
In an officers club on Christmas Eve., two gay soldiers, who recently became lovers, decide to risk the military’s wrath by slow dancing together. A touching drama.
First produced by the Absolute Theatre Company, San Francisco, February 1994. Also produced by The New Conservatory Theatre, spring 1994, and by Frank Calo in “Men In and Out of Clothes: Four One-Act Plays,” in The Raw Space, NYC, winter 2000.
“A very fine play.” – Andrés J. Wrath, off-off-broadway review (oobr.com)
Published by Dialogus in “Homosexual Acts” – out of print.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. V
One-Act: 10 min.
3M: 20s, 30s, 40s
- In a Five-and-Ten-Cent Store
A lonely man and a sex doll. A touching drama.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. V
One-Act: 10 min. – prop: “Sweetie,” the sex doll, male or female
1M: any age
- Body and Soul
A man argues with his penis, which argues back. A comedy, from the “Sex Show.”
Included in “Sexy Shorts,” produced by the New Conservatory Theatre, San Francisco, May 1996.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. I
One-Act: 6 min.
2M: any age
- Celebrities in Hell
Notorious homophobe Eddie Murphy and the Pope in Hell with AIDS. A satire.
Broadcast on KPFA radio, 1982; included in Homosexual Acts, NYC, 1991.
Contained in “Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon,” Vol. IV
One-Act: 10 min.
3M: various ages
- I Married the Nightstalker
A woman wants the notorious serial murderer for her husband. Go figure. Marriage must be sacred, with one man, one woman. Biting comedy.
One-Act: 7 min.
2M: any age
1F: any age
